That’s My Secret

"The Bridge" (photo by Kim Lance, used by permission)

“The Bridge” (photo by Kim Lance, used by permission)

There’s a scene from the Avengers movie (2012) that has stuck with me since I first saw it. It’s the one that answers the question of how Bruce Banner lives with being the Hulk.

Bruce Banner will never not have to deal with the Hulk. The Hulk is in him. He is the Hulk. You don’t always see the big, green monster, but he’s there, just under the surface.

So how does Bruce Banner keep the angry Hulk from getting out and destroying everything around him? How does he keep him from taking over his entire existence?

The answer comes when the Avengers are in danger of losing a war against an overwhelming enemy. Captain America says, “Doctor Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry.”

Bruce Banner answers, “That’s my secret, Captain: I’m always angry.” With that, he transforms into the Hulk and turns the tide of the battle in their favor.

Lately, I’ve had several people ask me to pray for mothers who have suddenly lost adult children. Two of those children were daughters…

When I hear of a loss like that, it takes the arms of God to hold me upright, and it takes the heart of God to give me the words that will comfort someone else. The reason it takes the Lord’s kindness is because my mind goes lightning fast back to the day of my daughter’s wreck, and then just as fast to her funeral. Darkness covers my eyes and I start falling headlong toward a pit.

Only by the presence of my Living Savior am I brought back into the light. Only by Him can I remember the victory that has already been won on my behalf.

I believe the only way we can pray for or comfort someone else is by the power of the sweet Holy Spirit. Otherwise, our pain would only destroy everything around us.

The reason I love that scene in the Avengers movie is because I know what it feels like to carry something inside that will never go away; something that hurts so much you cannot bear the pain; something that always lies just below the surface.

And my secret is: I’m always sad.

It is a grief that would terrify you if you saw it. And just like Bruce Banner’s anger, that sadness has been harnessed.

If you carry this same kind of sadness, don’t try to fix it. Don’t try to get rid of it. Don’t turn it inward, and don’t let it out to destroy. You must learn how to harness it. And to do that, you must offer it to the One who can use it for good.

There is great strength in a sorrow like that, in a weakness like that, because in our weakness, in our pain, the Lord’s strength is made known – it is seen.

Once His presence is seen, we can comfort another grieving brother or sister with the comfort we have been given by THE Comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Let Jesus who loves you and gave Himself for you take you across the bridge to the side where you become a hero, dear friend.

He knows how. He has suffered more grief than we can imagine, and yet He loved even those who crucified Him.

Phyllis Keels


4 thoughts on “That’s My Secret

  1. Beautifully said Phyllis. It is only through God”s mercy and love that any of us are able to go on after a lose like that. I thank God everyday that He is my strength in time of weakness. Opportunities arise often to help someone else make sense of the pain and grief of death of a loved one. I am thankful God uses people like you and me to help others deal with that unbearable loss, because we have suffered through it too. Love you!

  2. Lovely! It breaks my heart to know you are always sad, but I know that you are, and I understand. I share that sadness with you, Phyllis and carry a piece of it with me for you. I love you.

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